Thinking out Loud: Aviation in the Key of Gee Whiz

Getting a buzz out of life is easy

As I’m typing this I’m dead on my butt and it’s Sunday night. I got steam rollered this week and ran out of energy to whip out another Thinking Out Loud. This even though I’m loaded with ideas. So, what follows is a Grassroots column I wrote sometime in my past, meaning some time after 1 March, 1942.

Gee Whiz as a lifestyle.

The other day we were discussing magazines, writing, flying and other major food groups of life and I referred to the kind wordsmithing I’ve always done as “Gee Whiz Journalism.” From the quizzical looks generated, it was obvious that the phrase was apparently made up and it made no sense to anyone but me. That seems to happen a lot.

To me, the term “Gee Whiz Journalism” means the same as “Gee Whiz Aviation”, “Gee Whiz Autos” and gee-whiz other stuff. These are identified as such because they possess some sort of energy factor that occasionally squeezes the old adrenal glands causing a “Gee Whiz!” or something considerably less PC, to pop out involuntarily. They are objects, activities, and concepts that are laced with an above-average amount of testosterone-based excitement and, for that reason alone, a lot of us are attracted to them. Other folks, probably those with more commonsense, don’t give those kinds of pursuits a second thought, something I’d never really considered.

For decades I’d assumed that pilots, regardless of what they were flying, were all enamored of unique, high-performance machines. I figured that the appearance of these birds, which often reek of gee-whiz class, would automatically suck people to them. Then I unwittingly taxied into a local Bonanza fly-in where I looked like a Martian arriving at a PTA meeting because I was flying Aviat’s rendition of the super-classic clipped wing 110 Monocoupe Special. This is an airplane that has so much pure gee-whiz (read that as testosterone) oozing out of its pores that it looks positively evil. With its pugilistic, chin-up stance, tiny tailwheel and even tinier windshield, it appears to be challenging the world. “Come, on, I dare you! Just try to fly me!” Who can’t see themselves as a 1930’s, Smilin’ Jack character, when flying something like that? That’s why I was crestfallen, heartbroken and almost insulted, when a meeting broke up, a couple hundred Bonanza owners drifted past the zaney-looking little bird, and not one person even turned their head to look at it. Not a single one! Apparently not all of those who fly are in it for the gee-whiz factor. Some of them fly because they enjoy the utilitarian aspects of airplanes: they actually use them to go places! What a concept. They didn’t look at my borrowed bird because it looked more like it was going to pick a fight than take them somewhere. Huh! Who’d a thunk?

The original 110 Special Monocoupe was a clipped wing version of a regular Monocoupe but was born to be run fast and win. Watching folks walk around it at Oshkosh they unwittingly split into two groups. One would walk wide around it as it it would bite them. The other had this lustful look that said they wanted one but couldn’t figure out how to justify such a mean looking machine to the spouse.

From time-to-time the utilitarian aspects of airplanes, actually do weevil their way into my thoughts, e.g. it would be nice to be able to go wafting off over the far horizon to see my kids or something. But, then I remember how frustrating cross country can be because I see so many things below that almost drive me to land on a near by road so I can go look at them. Which is probably why, when I think about cross-country airplanes, the type I consider generally has a higher gee-whiz factor than the normal A-to-B bird and speed isn’t always part of the equation.

Cross-countries done the way I like them means being down in the dirt looking at interesting stuff and a helicopter would probably suit the mission better. However, I don’t consider them, because I don’t want the support headaches. I want to own the airplane, not have it own me. So, I think more in the line of big tires attached to little airplanes with big motors: birds that can make a runway out of a raunchy dirt road, a pasture or a short piece of semi-flat desert. A homebuilt Bearhawk or Patrol would be great. Or a Petersen 260 SE or Katmai (the perfect compromise). Or maybe a Husky on 26 inchers.

The Bearhawk is quite possibly the most utilitarian of the homebuilt breed. Four 200 pound folks, lots of fuel a room for baggage…all at the same time. And you can land on a postage stamp. I’d hang an M-14 on one (along with some other mods).

If thinking pure, high altitude cross-country, I tend to think of a gee-whiz factor that’s rooted in class and that means a round motor. My ultimate choice would be a 195 Cessna (which I’ve owned and loved) that’s been upgraded to an M-14 Russian radial (360 hp) or a 985 P & W (450 hp). Here we’d have machines that are not only outfitted like a limo and can carry more people and stuff than I really want to take with me, but they sound sooooo good! And with those engines on that airframe, they would not only look and sound good, but at altitude, where super chargers really do their number, they’d go like stink! Of course, Staggerwing prices are down considerably. Ditto the big engine Stinson Reliant series. Hmmm! There’s that round motor thing again.

Imagine this with a 360 hp M-14 on it!! Lots of supercharged power that would make this a real hummer at altitude and it feels like you’re flying a 1940’s Packard limo.

And then there’s the combining of cross-country and aerobatics, a definite gee-whiz combination. As it happens some of the best aerobatic airplanes, like the Extra 300L, are actually reasonably good, fast cross-country cruisers. Even a Pitts S-2C can haul the chili cross-country, except of course, it can’t haul it very far. However, a Siai-Marchetti S.F. 260 is the hands down winner in the aerobatic, cross-country arena. Nothing else comes close, when it comes to down and dirty gee-whiz aviating: fast, sexy, aerobatic!

The Siai-Marchetti SF 260 cruises around 220 mph, carries four people (two of them smallish) flies like a fighter and is aerobatic. Plus it looks like it’s doing 250 while parked on the ramp.

It’s a given that eventually, we all have to “settle” for something that’s less than ideal: that’s just part of life. So, yeah, I have a Spam Can or two in my acceptable list of cross-country airplanes, the top one being a straight tail 182. Probably a ’57. With 8:00 x 6’s on all three wheels and a Texas Skyways 285hp conversion under the hood. Well…you really don’t expect me to leave out the gee-whiz factor do you? And neither should you. That’s where the spice in life comes from. bd